


unspoken words hurt the most

by merlinswritings (emilyswritings)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, One Shot, You can have a little angst, also this is the version where arthur dies, as a treat, i will never write a full angst fic my poor heart cannot take that, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:20:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24151222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyswritings/pseuds/merlinswritings
Summary: After Arthur’s death, Merlin helps Guinevere go through his old papers and finds an unsent letter addressed to him.
Relationships: Guinevere/Arthur Pendragon, Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 98





	unspoken words hurt the most

**Author's Note:**

> i havent published anything on here for like a year oops... anyway i got this idea so here you go. (this may be a bit out of character because i havent actually watched merlin in like six months instead rewriting the whole thing in my head and making it better and gayer)

It had been a week since Arthur’s death. Guinevere and Merlin were going through some of Arthur’s belongings which had been spread out all over his room as he prepared for that final battle. Papers were scattered everywhere; maps, official-looking documents that probably should have been kept more securely - and, strangely, an envelope with a hastily scrawled ‘Merlin.’ He turned it over to see the remnants of a wax seal that had been carefully removed, running his finger over a slight tear in the paper. The faintest trace of red lingered where the seal had once been - Merlin could tell that Arthur had been meticulous about removing it; his usual carelessness imperceptible. The only thing left for Merlin to do was to read what his old friend had written.

_‘My dear friend,_

_We go into battle tomorrow. I know we are as prepared as we can be, but I will not be at ease until I write these words down._ _I think it was Lancelot who told me that “unspoken words hurt the most.” At first I thought he was just trying to seem smart, because I didn’t understand what he meant, but every day that I do not say these words adds to my pain. I was afraid to say it out loud, but not saying it has broken my heart. I loved you, Merlin. I was stupid for not realising it before. Then, I saw how you were with Gwaine, and I wanted you to be happy, so I stayed quiet - and it killed me. I finally moved on but I need you to know how I felt. You changed my life._

_Perhaps if circumstances were different we may have been closer. Now, I can only hope that Gwaine can give you what I never could. You deserve to be with someone who can devote themselves to you entirely, who will love you and be there for you when you need them. I feared my position as king prevented me from doing so; my duties to Camelot and to Guinevere had to take precedence. I love her, and I owe it to her to devote myself to our relationship._

_You may never even see this letter, but if you do, it probably means I’m dead and you are free to live your life as you wish. I hope you and Gwaine can finally escape from the heartbreak that seems to encompass Camelot._

_Arthur’_


End file.
